First Roundup

Come gather around, all you cowhands;
I'll tell you the tale of a squall
All about the very first roundup
By the very first cowboy of all.

They called this here ol' waddie Shorty
Though his real name was Noah or Pop;
This honest old pard found times were hard,
Though he'd dealt all his cards from the top.

Boss said, "You're a good puncher, Shorty;
And seein's how you've stood the big test,
I'm securin' you and your fam'ly;
And I'm cuttin' out all the rest.

Go build a gargantuan stable,
Gather critters from both land and sky...."
So Shorty completed that roundup --
As per them commands from on high,

The rains came and flooded the country;
No range land -- just H2 and O.
A couple of days and his daughter
Called, "Quick, Pop! There's a leak in the hold!"

He hurried down, investigatin';
"Woe is me! I fear this is the end!"
And that's when the very first cowboy
Learned which beast was to be his best friend!

For the dog stuck his snout in the puncture;
And his mate took her turn at the hole.
And together they staved odd destruction,
And saved every body and soul;

But the gap grew too large for their noses!
Shorty came to his pals' frantic bark'
"Oh how,"he cried out in anguish,
"Can we, dearest wife, save the ark?"

His sweet little spouse to the rescue!
To forestall any great avalance,
She stuck her left heel in the punture
And saved their amphibious ranch.

The animals wailed in misgiving;
With grunt, and with snort, and with bleat,
For the hole only kept getting bigger,
Though she plugged it with both of her feet!

A fortnight had passed when his helpmate
Cried, "We've simply got to acquire
Some sort of stopper or stuffing,
Or we're all of us bound to expire!"

Well, Shorty just did what he had to --
He hurried back down in the hold;
He slogged through the chill rising water
And sat himself down on the hole.

Nearly three weeks he sat with his backside
Exposed to the sea -- unrefined!
While minnows and oysters and lobsters
Took a swipe at ol' Shorty's behind.

Then the white dove flew out and returned with
The leaf of an olive tree rare.
The sun shone, a rainbow glowed glorious,
And Shorty withdrew his damp derriere.

Now that is the true explanation
How the dog his cold nose did acquire;
Why ladies complain of cold tootsies,
And cowboys back up to the fire!

Previously Featured Poems